How are you virtual darlings? How's 2015 so far? First of all may God bless Indonesia... Friends and family of the Airasia victims, stay strong... I'm sending my prayers also to the friends and family of Charlie Hebdo incident's victims and also let's pray for the attackers, may all of them find their own peace . To Paris the city of love, may we spread more loves not only to the Parisians but to all of the people in the world. May all of the religions, races and genders unite because we're all human after all. Every single soul counts and don't let this attack change our perception of any religion. Just be kind and spread more loves than ever.
Let's catch up, shall we? I went to USA for Christmas and new year with my dearest family + i went to Chictopia HQ and we made a video of the 2015 fashion trends btw! It was the best thing that ever happened to me i guess. Chictopia was my first fashion platform before i knew this amazing site called blogspot. It was a humbling and unforgettable experience. It's funny how good news and new projects always come everytime i had this crazy thoughts to shutdown my blog. I feel like i disappoint myself everytime someone tell me about my lack of posts, a lot of unanswered questions and requests for tips from education to beauty. I felt like i was failing and i was in a limbo. I feel like i really need to focus on one thing which is my education but i also have my long distance relationship that i need to maintain(uh huh, i can make a whole new post about this LDR life but let's not talk about it now).
A lot of things happened in 2014 but no matter how much i want to be my better self... I always feel i was never good enough. Jealousy got the best out of me, yeah i know i need to be grateful blablabla yada yada yada.... I should be happy with all of the good things that happened in my life right? maybe? I don't know.... Yesterday i got the news about my first internship interview, i got the job alongside my super amazing friend and i think she doesn't know how amazing she is. I always see the brighter side of a person, but why can't i see the brighter side of me? Why can't i be satisfied? Why do i keep wishing to be other bloggers, friends or family member and I'm tired to become... myself. I often over think everything, i feel tired all the time and i miss my home :( Have you ever feel like everyone hates you in secret and you don't know why? Maybe i'm just lonely or maybe i'm just hungry or depressed?
I used to think my purpose in life was to achieve my personal lifetime goals, to make people smile,to have a lot of shoes and to be a carefree peace maker. A hippie gone mad! but i think people change... I changed, like a lot.... I kept distance with my friends and family (+ my boyfriend) in these past few months , today i thought that was the stupidest thing i could ever do. Today i set a new goal for myself because i know i need to change for the better. I always want to make everybody happy and smile, i will not let my insecurities get the best out of me anymore. At the end of the day, if you want to spread the love... you should love yourself first, appreciate your existence here in this world. Be kind to yourself, stop competing with others and stop searching for your flaws. I keep this mantra not only for you guys but most of all for myself. I always treat my blog as my virtual diary and i think these words will always be here when i need them... when you need them.
I know people could change, with all of our new life experience... We simply grow up! We're evolving into this new human beings, we learned from our mistakes and karma teach us good, it taught me hella good i guess. For all of you who feel like you will never be good enough just because Taylor Swift always show you how amazing she was and how perfect she was, is and will... You're not alone, I'm here guys. Let's just really look inside ourselves and say this is enough! Because we're all good enough and everyday we'll have another set of 24 hours to be the best version of ourselves. We won't stop growing, we won't stop changing. Let's learn from the iphones... same casing, maybe a little bit bigger but small changes and upgrades won't hurt right? Have a blessed morning, afternoon and night. Hello 2015...