Can People Really Change? #2015toughestquestion

Hi and this time this hi is from me Cindy Karmoko not the Hippiegonemad girl. I can't believe i left my blog for more than a month.... I finally have my clarity moment or should i say moments?
How are you virtual darlings? How's 2015 so far? First of all may God bless Indonesia... Friends and family of the Airasia victims, stay strong... I'm sending my prayers also to the friends and family of Charlie Hebdo incident's victims  and also let's pray for the attackers, may all  of them find their own peace . To Paris the city of love, may we spread more loves not only to the Parisians but to all of the people in the world. May all of the religions, races and genders unite because we're all human after all. Every single soul counts and don't let this attack change our perception of any religion. Just be kind and spread more loves than ever.
Let's catch up, shall we? I went to USA for Christmas and new year with my dearest family + i went to Chictopia HQ and we made a video of the 2015 fashion trends btw! It was the best thing that ever happened to me i guess. Chictopia was my first fashion platform before i knew this amazing site called blogspot. It was a humbling and unforgettable experience. It's funny how good news and new projects always come everytime i had this crazy thoughts to shutdown my blog. I feel like i disappoint myself everytime someone tell me about my lack of posts, a lot of unanswered questions and requests for tips from education to beauty. I felt like i was failing and i was in a limbo.  I feel like i really need to focus on one thing  which is my education but i also have my long distance relationship that i need to maintain(uh huh, i can make a whole new post about this LDR life but let's not talk about it now).
 A lot of things happened in 2014 but no matter how much i want to be my better self... I always feel i was never good enough. Jealousy got the best out of me, yeah i know i need to be grateful blablabla yada yada yada.... I should be happy with all of the good things that happened in my life right? maybe? I don't know.... Yesterday i got the news about my first internship interview, i got the job alongside my super amazing friend and i think she doesn't know how amazing she is. I always see the brighter side of a person, but why can't i see the brighter side of me? Why can't i be satisfied? Why do i keep wishing to be other bloggers, friends or family member and I'm tired to become... myself. I often over think everything, i feel tired all the time and i miss my home :( Have you ever feel like everyone hates you in secret and you don't know why? Maybe i'm just lonely or maybe i'm just hungry or depressed?
 I used to think my purpose in life was to achieve my personal lifetime goals, to make people smile,to have a lot of shoes and to be a carefree peace maker. A hippie gone mad! but i think people change... I changed, like a lot.... I kept distance with my friends and family (+ my boyfriend) in these past few months , today i thought that was the stupidest thing i could ever do. Today i set a new goal for myself because i know i need to change for the better. I always want to make everybody happy and smile, i will not let my insecurities get the best out of me anymore. At the end of the day, if you want to spread the love... you should love yourself first, appreciate your existence here in this world. Be kind to yourself, stop competing with others and stop searching for your flaws. I keep this mantra not only for you guys but most of all for myself. I always treat my blog as my virtual diary and i think these words will always be here when  i need them... when you need them.
I know people could change, with all of our new life experience... We simply grow up! We're evolving into this new human beings, we learned from our mistakes and karma teach us good, it taught me hella good i guess.  For all of you who feel like you will never be good enough just because Taylor Swift always show you how amazing she was and how perfect she was, is and will... You're not alone, I'm here guys. Let's just really look inside ourselves and say this is enough! Because we're all good enough and everyday we'll have another set of 24 hours to be the best version of ourselves. We won't stop growing, we won't stop changing. Let's learn from the iphones... same casing, maybe a little bit bigger but small changes and upgrades won't hurt right? Have a blessed morning, afternoon and night. Hello 2015...

F.L.A.T

Me wearing flats? Is that slippers? What happen!? The truth is sometimes i love to wear flats, my big toe was injured and bruised thanks to Disclosure. I was also wearing my heels everyday all the time in Rome for the Bulgari event , ah i wish i could share everything with you guys! Rome is a small heaven!! My life is a BAM! right now, just like my sweater said, i bought the sweater while i was in NewYork with Fimela, how fast the time flies! I saw the word BAM! and i thought I'll wear that sweater everytime i have the BAM! of my life.Btw speaking of flats, i want to ask you a lot of questions!

What makes your life flat? What makes you think that you haven't live your life to the fullest?

Did you make a bad decision a few years ago and you're currently trap in a monotonous 9 to 5 office life?  

What makes you happy? Do you have any ambition at all? Who are you and what defines you as a person?

What will people say about you if i ask them about your personality? 

Yes, most of the time you'll blame your life situation, I'm boring because my boss needs me everyday in the same city, same office, same everything. I'm boring because i have no money to build an orphanage or to do any humanitarian works like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, but most of the time you're boring because you're too afraid or too lazy to move, to make a difference for yourself, to trust your talent and to step outside of your comfort zone.

I know some people who have the dream jobs, great positions, steady life just like a mill pond but then... They decided to leave everything and start a new thing right back to point zero. What's the point of going back to the start while you're on the highest top of your career. You're a senior, cocktail parties,fine dining, invited to the biggest event in town. Are you insane? The truth is... they're smart enough to ignore the judgement and to choose to enjoy their life while they still can. For all of you, students.. Take your time, i have a gap year to think about what i want to do in my life and i think you should not pick something just because your parents told you to. 

Thirty years from now, you'll be on your own, will you enjoy your life? Will you regret your decision? Fear or failure will always be there, the simplest thing to know how bad your desire is to imagine, what kind of jobs that you'll do voluntarily? If money was not the object , if money doesn't exist what will you do ? 

I proudly said that i choose my own career path and my life is never flat! I work hard and i never hate fashion after all this time. I prefer to blog rather than spending my night in the club and it's my choice because I'd rather go to Rome and interviewed the CEO of Bulgari than trying to show how cool you are in path and instagram. I'm not against having fun so don't get me wrong, i go to club sometimes but you need to set your priority. Since i was in junior high school i participate in a lot of newscasting and public speaking competition, i participate in the national competition too just to test my skill and i really love to talk to a lot of people who's older than me. I choose to spend my time in high school with something useful, I'm not popular and i think some popular kids hate me just because they can. I'm one of the underdog, honestly i was sad and i hate my high school environment at that time, but *cough* who cares! First they laugh, then they follow right? 

Last advice for you pretty people who afraid to be who you really want; you only life once and time will never stop. You need to celebrate your life, i never went to Milan before ,but i chose to stay and study here.Because i thought I'm going to be fine here, i took the leap of faith and start with a small city like Milan. See the real world people, keep exploring! Run from your comfort zone, i wear outfits that i love and have hair colors that i prefer . What other people think about me is non of my business, be happy and be kind to one another! I hope this post will help you to find your own happiness. *kisskiss*

p.s For those who want to wear lovely outfits everyday you should shop HERE or click the shop's banner on my top header. Good clothes give you good vibes!

Photographed by Ayu Ananto, 

with Anastasia Siantar a.k.a The Brown Platform Girl 's camera (grazie anas!!)

Love Game

 It's been a super busy week for me, changed a lot of plans and postponed a lot of meetings, i really am sorry for the delayed outfitpost to all of my sponsors because i always choose the best products and it's not about the free stuff, i want all of my readers to know that our local product can compete with the other international products that i usually wear. I'll never wear something that i don't like and i'm a lil bit perfectionist sometimes, i want myself to feel good when i wear something, as y'all know my mood was and always be the mastermind of my outfits.+ quality is better than quantity after all.For instance, this one! okay okay the title says it all, or maybe the patterns of my outfit? read more and beware! i'll spill half of my heart out in this post!

Mad Thoughts of The Day#1-LDR

For those who asked me to make a new outfit post, this picture above explains how busy i was. i moved to my new apartment last week, i need to go to my friend's apartment(a.k.a ayu) just to asked her to share her internet with me (kisskissayu). I never thought that i have so much things in my apartment til i moved and forced myself to put everything in order(by myself T__T).
I wish mr.B was there when i need him the most to bring all of the heavy things and to give me a back massage or maybe just a simple hug is enough. A lot of people asked me lately about LDR(long distance relationship) through twitter, formspring, email, bbm, facetoface, etc. I'm not an expert in this area, but at least i know how it feels to miss your partner in times when you needed him/her the most and I'm still learning too.  I always talk to myself when i was alone and write all of my mumbo jumbo in my own diary, but since this blog is my one and only diary right now, i will share not only my love for shoes and fashion but also other things that you ask! feel free to ask me anything on formspring ! I will share my recipe to last here in my first new section "Mad Thoughts of The Day"!

What I See In: The Hague

 

Before I bombarded my blog with my outfit post, first of all enjoy this video that i made. Since a lot of people asked me about Europe and what to see in here. Maybe i'll make a video of it so that i can share my lovely experience here in europe with all of choo pretty people. Enjoy! btw i'm in The Hague(read Den haag) Netherlands right now! Have a nice holiday pretty people.